Wednesday, January 12, 2011

APPROACH #5

APPROACH #5- So im walking around this shopping complex looking for some fresh meat. Its a pretty nice sized complex with a ballys total fitness next to this bagel place, so i figured id pick up some pre workout carbs in a bagel. So as I walk in I see this little white girl who looked like she could use a d*ck or two. So i walk up to her

ME: hi, how are you?
Her: hi, what can i get for you today
me: i want a whole wheat bagel with double cream cheese
her: uh sure, anything else for you today? (she says with a smile)

i decided this is a prime time to go for the kill

Me: Well your number would be wonderful
Her: uh i don't give out my number to strangers
Me: Well thats good honey bc i ain't no stranger, my names johny. What's yours?
Her: she laughs** im emily.

I reach over and shake her hand and i go for the kill. So i keep pressing this broad for her number and after about 5 more minutes she relucantly gives it to me. So as I walk away and say goodbye I see her giggling with her friend behind the counter. So I'm figuring nice this chick digs my big black physique.

So as i leave I decide that I'm gonna send her a text so she can have my number too. So I'm sitting in the parking lot in my car when I send it. Strangely enough the text doesn't go through so im like "this ho better have not gave me a fake number" So i decide im gonna call it because the big nasty don't waste any time when it comes to chicks.

To my happy suprise it rings and im golden

until















SOME MOFO PICKS UP THE PHONE AND ITS MOTHA F*CKIN BALLY TOTAL FITNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DUMB BROAD LIED TO ME SO I REALIZE NOW SHES GOTTA PAY.

SO I RUN OUT OF MY CAR LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. I GRAB THAT DAMN BAGEL AND RUN INTO THE BAGEL STORE. I SHOUT AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS "NO ONE MESSES WITH BIG NASTY". I TAKE THE BAGEL AND THROW IT AS HARD AS I CAN AGAINST A RACK OF CREAM CHEESES AND A BUNCH FALL.

then i run out of there....

you should have seen that hos face when i came back

priceless

3 comments:

  1. LOL Way to go man! Show that bish who's boss!

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  2. damn man these are incredible. keep it up

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  3. nice blog man

    follower a fellow miscer at http://www.reddit.com/tb/f0q2l

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