Thursday, January 13, 2011

Approach #8

Approach 8

So yesterday my bellly was rumbling so I went to Wendys across the street from work on my lunch break.

I go up and get my cesar salad, cause your knows that I'm trying to cut some pounds. See the girls behind the counter are kinda skanky but they look like they haven't seen a shower in ages. So I think to myself, "Johnny you need a better woman in your life than some fastfood woman". So then I walk upstairs to sit down and i see this fine sister in a business suit sitting by herself. So I begin to think...looks like BIG NASTY is gonna get some freak nasty tonite. So i initiate the conversation

Me: Hi, excuse me miss are you sitting by yourself?
Her: Yeah, I'm grabbing something quick before I head out to a meeting.
Me: I see... I hate sitting by myself while i eat. do you mind if i join you?
Her; ummm no not at all. but im going to be leaving in like 15 mins.
Me: Thanks.... my name is johny by the way.
Her: Hi my name is racquel.

So she starts to eat again and I put my salad down on the table. I start looking at her delicious sandwich and Im not sure what I want: SEX OR BACONATOR.

Me: so whats that your eating it looks tasty, is it new?
Her: yeah kinda its a baconator.
Me: MMmmm that looks almost as delicious as my tongue down your throat..

she looked shocked and started to choke on her food a bit. She ran to the bathroom. i waited outside for her for like 5 minutes figuring she'd come out and get my meat pole. So then I went back to finish my salad. After i finished my salad, she still wasnt out of the bathroom like 10 minutes later. So i go up and knock on the door and say "hey its johny", no answer . So I just threw my coke at the door and said **** YOU, YOU ASHEY BITCH!!!!

She still didn't come out so I lost control (again)...I run into the bathroom and find two small stalls and someone hiding inside talking on the cellphone. So I PICK UP THE GARBAGE CAN WHICH IS FILLED WITH TAMPON WRAPPERS DIRTY TOLIET PAPER AND WHO KNOWS WHAT AND I THROW THAT SH*T OVER THE STALL. I IMMEDIATELY HEAR SOMEONE SCREAM AND I WALK AWAY IN A FIT OF RAGE

someone help me out here..why isn't this working out


  1. Brah. Keep it up son, it ain't you.
    Bitches be trippin, brah.

  2. LOL you could make a living doing these awesome approaches!

  3. wow, you should write a book. try not to hurt anyone