APPROACH #9

So I walking around in Midtown after work and I passed that Post Office that has a million steps. I see this young milky white chick, listening to her ipod. She must be 18 at the absolute oldest. So I think to myself 10 years for a lil good ole butt sex with a minor, I don?t know about that. But I see her sitting on the steps and my willy johnson begins to stand at attention. I?m like screw it lets go hunt some prey.

Me: hey sweet thang, what are you listening to?
Her: death cab for cutie.
Me: Never heard of them before, but you is a cutie.

This jailbait?s face immediately turns red. So I follow up with my questions method.

Me: what kinda music do they play?
Her: like indy rock.
Me: i love to rock out.......(phew!, I almost said with my cock out)i shread like jimmy hendrix when he was on LSD.
Her: thats cool.
Me: Well do you like Sum 41? Im actually good friends with the lead singer
Her: Yeah I love them, that?s awesome
Me: Well would you like to meet him? He?s coming over tonite, we are going to grab some drinks and probably play some cards. Plus we can play around with my guitar (you know what that means! She won?t know until she gets there)
Her: uhh?maybe ill stop by. I don?t know you but that?s a once in a lifetime opportunity

So we exchange numbers and I give her a time to meet up. So she gets to my house around 7 and starts asking where is derrick?

Me: Derrick is gonna be a little later, but he said he?ll call me before he comes
Her: oh okay
Me: Why don?t we have a little something to drink
Her: im not legal, and ive never drank before im kinda nervous.
Me: Don?t worry, Ill mix you up something nice and soft for your first drink

SO I RUN OVER TO THE FRIDGE AND WHIP OUT THE BACARDI 151 (151 proof liquor) and of course the koolaid to mask the taste. I put extra sugar in that biznatch to cover up the horrid taste. So I put approximately 3 shots of 151 in a large glass and douse it with kool-aid. Well it looks like im gonna get some action tonite. Boooyaaahh.

Her: This drink smells weird, just drink it don?t worry it?s a chick drink. Probably has the amount of alcohol of a beer

This happens for about half an hour and she finishes it and is absolutely gone beyond oblivion. SO ITS TIME TO SHINE.

Me: So derrick is here but he said he?ll only come in if you close your eyes
Her?<some drunk lingo>
Me: close your eyes and put your hand out, he?s got a present for you
Her: ok
Me: (I whip my c*ck out and put it in her hand) shake his hand
Her: whats this? (she opens her eyes and starts yelling and stumbling for the door)
Me: I ain?t letting you go tonite sweet cheeks.

SHE STARTS YELLING AND RUNS OUT THE DOOR BUT NOT BEFORE I GRABBED HER BOOB. THAT?S LIKE THE EQUIVALENT OF ? of sex. BONUS